Tonight after talking to my sister she made me think about things I never even thought about. She said to me Rissa do you realize that the day for you to send Jaylen off to college may never come? Do you realize there are things that most of us look forward to doing with our children that you won’t get a chance to do with him?
And I realize it’s just something I never even thought about. I often think about how I’m going to one day have to let my girls go into the world but never my son. I guess it’s because I know we will always have him. My husband and I often plan what we want in the future once the kids are out of school. In those plans, we always include Jaylen and how we’re going to travel the world with him. Not thinking about how we won’t get to experience the things with him that we will experience with our girls.
And for some reason even after her mentioning it didn’t bother me because I know that I will have to care for Jaylen for the rest of our lives. To be honest I’m pretty excited that one day we will travel the world with him. Maybe I won’t send him off to college, maybe I won’t dance with him at his wedding, maybe I won’t do the things that Mother’s with sons do but it won’t stop us from living. It won’t stop us from looking forward to our future nor will we dread on the things we won’t be able to do with him. Because he will live the life that is meant for him even if it means us having to do everything for him.
I think because I accepted it doesn’t bother me. Because I know to have a child with special needs sometimes requires us as parents to be there with them forever and I’m cool with that.