I Am Tired!

Parenthood, in general, can be tiresome, being a parent to a child with (dis)Abilities is extremely tiresome. Our world literally can be rocked in a matter of moments.

My experience with this lifestyle has been very interesting. I have no family besides my children's father and my parents. I have no true support outside of the nursing hours I receive from the Medicaid system.

It saddens me that most including myself do not have a family we can lean on. A family that will support you and uplifts you. A family that will give you a break so you can enjoy life a little. None of my family has come to my aid. None have come to sit in the hospital with me, to relieve me so I can breathe or even just nap.

When I say I am tired I really mean that shit. I am tired of making calls, questioning things, handling things, being told what things will and won't happen. Why Anthony isn't good enough or not in need of certain interventions. It's just overwhelming at times. Not having access to quality care and services makes me tired.

Per society standards, I am a black female with black sons who are viewed as threats to this country I currently reside in. I have to explain to my youngest how his skin color, gender, and diagnosis are all strikes and how to stay safe while teaching him how to care for his big brother.

I've been told before (in my house) by a family member that she was the mother of all mothers. I've been told that my journey has only been for a short amount of time so I don't understand motherhood fully yet. I was also made to feel that I was the one that causes the breakdown.

I AM FUCKING TIRED of working hard to give my son the best life possible even with roadblocks. My family has dishonored me and my children in many ways. I am the black sheep and it's ok. I understand that everyone isn't for me nor needs to be associated with me and my children.

It has taken me a very long time to understand that none of this is my fault. None of what others think and feel of me is important. I have a choice!

Being tired means allowing others into your space and allowing their negative vibe to drain you! We tend to accept these behaviors because of our lack of confidence to say how we really feel and set boundaries with our family. We believe that because they are family we have to accept whatever is given.

You do not have to accept less than your worth and it's ok to tell your family to kick rocks if they treat you less than your worth.  It's too often that we subject ourselves to things for the sake of family.

Family is only the blueprint into how the world will treat you!

I am TRIED and that's ok! I have learned to be ok with other's not desiring to take this ride with me. After all, it's a pretty bumpy ride filled with lots of uncertainty and emotional challenges.

 

 

 

Virginia Board for People with Disabilities (PIP)

Two days before the new year of 2019. I was looking at my Facebook newsfeed seeing a post from The Arc of Greater Williamsburg had shared Virginia Board for People with Disabilities Facebook post. That said that the is currently seeking talented, motivated, and dedicated advocates to the 2019-2020 Partners in Policymaking. When The Arc of Greater Williamsburg had shared that post, they said: "Do we have any clients interested in this opportunity?"

After I read it, I've got this unbelievable feeling in my heart and soul like it was my calling from God. I've felt like I need to be a part of this! To make a difference in the world and speak on behalf of people who can't.

Thank you for considering me as an applicant. I'm honor by this fantastic opportunity,

Sincerely, Amanda Fino

This was my answer to one of the questions of many questions on their Application Form. That I took like one dose when they are for college. It was due on March 15, 2019, yet I've worked hard, giving it all I got into the Application and receiving three letters of recommendation. On January 18, I turn it in proud of myself. Just sit back and waited. Well, this leads me off to fished witting my autobiography. Cerebral Palsy Gal has been a work in progress for years; I haven't found the exact words until then.

May came without no word for the Virginia Board for People with Disabilities. I felt like I mush had done something wrong that must have gotten them to have them reject me. Then on May 7, they email me, turning that I got in. Wonder why I haven't replied to my congratulations letter that they had mailed me in April and do I still want in? I told them 'YES' I still want to be a part of Partners in Policymaking, and my letter got lost in the mail. I was shocked to hear that I got in. To me, I felt like I have achieved something incredible like this in so long.

All summer long, I been preparing for the first sessions that will be on next Friday, September 13. Writing out the first 3-minute speech that I shall give in Richmond, Virginia, on Saturday, November 2, 2019! At the capitol day Mock testimony panel as a member of Virginia Board for People with Disabilities and writing a list my Issues & Concerns that may require grassroots advocacy. To help make life better for all disabilities, people of all ages that live in my state of Virginal. Along with a few facts about of the disability rights movement. I have to admit that I have little/limited knowledge about the history of people with disabilities. Over this summer, I gained a lot of experience on this subject, Ii was requested to read this vast internet textbook, Parallels In Time (A History of Disabilities). I really enjoyed it, and I'm impressed by how well that it was put together!

I am blessed, thankful, and thrilled to be a part of the 2019-2020 Partners in Policymaking. Learning more so I can apply it in helping to make lives better for people living with Cerebral Palsy. To me, it's the next chapter of my experience of Amanda Fino

Timeless Ending

On July 20, 2013, it was an extraordinary day because I published my debut book, Omerta Affair. A romance set in the violent underworld of the Las Vegas Mafia. Remembering that day, I was jumping with overjoy, tears of joy. It was a super fabulous, wonderful feeling, "I really did, I'm a published indie author." Fast forward six years later, it's time for me celebrating my book once more as it releases under a new title. Omerta: Timeless Endings from Lavender Press An imprint of Blue Fortune Enterprises, LLC on August 27, 2019

It's all began on my 22 birthday. I went to the newly open Mob Museum in Las Vegas Nevada. To my shock, Frank Cuttolla was there signing his book. I met him and told him that I want to be a Mafia-Romance, and he said to me that if I need help, just let him know. I said okay thinking he has better things to do than helping me a young CP girl at the time. I found him on Facebook weeks later, and we began to talk, he always inviting me to this and that. I base my first book "Omerta Affair" off on Tony Spilotro's reign as The Las Vegas Mafia boss, in the 1970s. He had it all, running the Crime underworld. He could have any woman he wanted in Las Vegas. Instead, he became romantically Geri Rosenthal. At first, it was a Casino's FanFic to the 1995 move, that I was witting and putting online for free. My family and friend told me it was way too good to be a FanFic. After I finished my book, Frank hooked me up with some people and that how my book came to be. Now he's Uncle Frank to me.

Since then, I have continued to gravitate toward writing dark, mature romances, some suitable only for adults. It is frustrating to me that some authors don't take me seriously because of that I have Cerebral Palsy. I write dark romance, and my Cerebral Palsy had nothing with it. Even if I didn't have Cerebral Palsy, I would still write Dark Romance books.  On November 17, 2018, after years of writer's block and personal problems, I finally came out with the Deepest Element, which is a short story under my formal pen name Alexandra Forry. Now I'm rewriting Deepest Elements to be a full-flash novel tiled Blue Bell my goal for it to come out late 2020.

Blue Bell set at a very elite boarding school that has darkened within its wall. Arriving in Radcliffe Heights, Rhode Island, freshman Peony "Poppy" Warwick admired the picturesque small town. But deep in the shadows of the woods near Blue Bell Boarding School, and along its hallowed halls, lurked illicit sex, murder, and harrowing danger. Seduced by Damon Dashwood, the handsome, blue-eyed, white blonde 41-year-old Headmaster, Poppy enters a world of love, ecstasy, heartbreak, betrayal, and death.

How Did I get my idea for Blue Bell? In 2005 I was living in Pahrump, Nevada, that's world-famous for its whorehouse of ill representatives. When breaking news hit our town's newspaper, and then it went on to become a remarkable news story on cbsnews.com.

The story went like this. This guy went and told detectives he found the videotape of a young of 4 or 5 years of age girl who had sexually assaulted in this homemade videotape. Investigators don't think this guy made the tape.

Being homeschooled with nothing to do, I followed this story until I read this five years later; "We found the victim. She's safe," Nye County sheriff's Detective told The Associated Press. I was fifteen at the time. I had made up this story idea.

About a girl in a boarding school that is determined to expose her school's evil headmaster. After she had discovered a prostitution ring, sex trafficking, and murder within the school's walls and on its grounds, even though human trafficking is a foul, very dark subject, the morale of this book is "fight for what you believe in, for what's right" and "never give up." I never wrote it down until December of 2017.

"It is an interesting story that is generally well told. The basic premise is sound, and it has the potential to be a well-received psychological thriller. The two main (Poppy and Dashwood) are well constructed and carry the story well. The plot and storyline are clear. The reader can see from the mission that Poppy is on; Exposing the criminality of her headmaster Dashwood and the school in the sex scandal that had been going on for years." A review of DEEPEST ELEMENTS.

I never did plan of having my two main characters, Poppy and Dashwood, falling in love with each other. I like to point out that, It a time of great confusion for girls as they start to get sexual desires. There is an element of excitement and danger with an older man with power. Poppy knew that Dashwood is a criminal, and their relationship is illegal. LOVE is stronger than HATE, that why I shall make it she want him in jail party because oddly she would have him all to herself. It's love everlasting.

PTSD @ HOMEGOODS!

I went to Homegoods with my friend, and now I haven’t step foot in my Homegoods story here in Williamsburg before today. All the bad memories of spending hours upon hours in Homegoods connecting T.J. Maxx, watching my mother dearest buying out the store and piling up my cart with things that I needed to buy. With my own money that I cannot afford. I was very unconformable and broke out in sweat looking around the story with my friend, yet it was the first time in a Homegoods since early 2016. My friend didn’t find what she was looking for, so we were in and out.

When I called my grandma, telling her what happens. She told me that she had the same feeling when she went. It made my grandma sick just thinking about her daughter did to us. We can’t step in a Homegoods without triggering our PDTD. I want to cry for what my mom had put my grandma and me through.

The next day I read a newsbreak that says that; “Milwaukee Mother Tied Up Son With Autism And Set Him On Fire.”  It’s not the first time that I read something sinful like this happen. Years back, in 2015, I learned that they found a Philadelphia man who was 21 with Cerebral Palsy in the woods. “About 100 yards off the roadway here, laying in leaves. He's got a blanket over him and a Bible on his chest. He has a wheelchair about 10 feet from his body."

I just hate this! 🤬🤬🤬 I want to cry and wonder why? Did my biological mother, Linda Conant try this to do this to me? Sadly yes. That summer of 1999, One morning, my mom came in on me, taking a bath and almost killed me in the bathwater after she beat me by washing my hair. It was a terrible memory of my mother’s outrage. At first, I was dumbfounded for her being mad at me.  I made a mistake using the last of her bath salt. I was sorry and gave her no lip. When she told me to wash to the shampoo out of my hair, she held my body underwater with her hands pushing down drowning me. Then I was too scared, too young to realize what the hell was going on. I was lucky that she stopped and acted as nothing happened. Later on that day, she confessed that she was the worst mother ever as she apologized to me. Mom made me swear not to tell a soul, not even my dad.  I pushed it far, far, far now in my mind to forget it.  All because I spilled her bath salts by mistake? Why what up with that? Just bath salt that one can buy for one dollar at Dollar Tree.

I never told a soul until 2014 long after my dad had passed away.  I don't hide things about what had happened to me NOT ANYMORE!!! I speak out against child abuse and rape as a survivor. I speak out now from domestic violence not as a victim but as a survivor. I BLESS GOD EACH DAY TO BE ALIVE!!

 

Disability Meets Depression

Depression is not something you hear a lot about within the disability community, but the more I thought about it the more I began to see the connection.  Being disabled can cause one to have to face many ups and downs and obstacles, hurdles, uphill battles, and valley experiences throughout our lives, the upside to all of these experiences, they have shaped and continues to shape who God has created us to be. For example, a person who has a disability typically deals with low self-esteem, lack of direction, feelings of not belonging,  These same feelings can also be connected with depression. Before I continue any further I think it's important to understand what Depression is and also there is a difference between being depressed and suffering from depression. Being depressed is usually when something does not go as planned and you become a down about it, it does not usually last long, whereas depression is defined as a mental disorder characterized by depressed, low, or “blue” mood that lasts more than a few days. People who suffer from depression often lose interest in activities they formerly found pleasant, feel hopeless and sad, and suffer from low self-esteem.  Depression and disability oftentimes go hand and hand, depending upon the support system that an individual may have. But then the question becomes why does disability lead to depression:

Why does disability lead to depression?? 

 I don’t think depression is directly related to the disability itself but related to the emotions and fears connected to the disability. These are common emotions that a person with a disability may experience and because of that experience, there may be some depression. 

No life direction or purpose – Many individuals who happened to have a disability, they often feel as though because they are disabled they have no purpose which causes them to feel lost and out of place.  Then there are the individuals who become disabled later in life, they have worked hard to achieve a certain career goal. Acquiring a disability that no longer allows you to work at that job has a significant impact on your direction in life and may also impact your sense of purpose. For example, an airline pilot whose vision becomes seriously impaired is no longer able to fly. Such a devastating loss can easily open the door for depression, particularly if that was the only career he or she had ever had  Another example is someone who suffers a stroke, as we know people who have strokes sometimes loses the use of the right side of their body as well as the ability to drive and they speech sometimes become altered. This drastic life change can cause depression sneak in because this person has gone from having a pretty normal full of independence to having a life of restrictions and limitations.  

The painful loss of a sense of purpose affects many disabled individuals who were formerly the primary breadwinner in the home. When you’re no longer able to provide for your family, it’s not unusual to develop the lingering helplessness or frustration that leads to depression. 

Feelings of worthlessness, another common symptom of depression, can begin to take a firm grip. This is seen commonly in a lot of disabled vets.

A decrease in self-esteem – Being disabled affects how you perceive and feel about yourself, as well as your place in society. A study of individuals with traumatic brain injury revealed they had lower levels of self-esteem and higher levels of depression than healthy individuals. Some disabled individuals lack confidence in their ability to control their body and manage their life adequately. The loss of autonomy can take a severe toll on self-esteem.

Sadness, anger or frustration – A disability can sometimes prevent you from having your dream job or your dream career, but it isn’t always serious enough to keep you out of the workforce entirely. Feeling forced to take a job that isn’t as challenging, fulfilling, prestigious or well-paying can elicit negative feelings such as sadness, anger, frustration or resentment. 

The struggle of living with a disability – Quality of life often decreases after a significant injury or illness, especially when it limits the ability to perform normal daily activities. A serious brain injury, for instance, requires a person to relearn any number of tasks, from how to speak to how to button a shirt. In some cases, he or she simply isn’t able to relearn important functions. Likewise, a disability such as vision loss completely changes how someone lives. A newly blind person must learn how to navigate a dark world, losing at least some independence in the process.

Feeling bored – Some disabilities leave a person housebound, with few opportunities to interact with others. You may find yourself at home alone all day while your spouse is at work or confined to an assisted living center where community activities don’t match your interests. Boredom fosters negative emotions, including loneliness and frustration, which can trigger symptoms of depression.

Disability definitely raises depression risk; however, depression can also make the disability worse. For example, depression can make it more difficult for you to take proper care of your health. You are more likely to miss important appointments, such as a doctor visit or physical therapy. You may neglect to take your medications as directed. The result is a cycle in which the injury or illness triggers depression, which, in turn, makes the disabling condition worse.     

Signs of Depression

The following are signs of clinical depression:

  • Difficulty remembering things, concentrating or making simple decisions
  • Feeling tired all of the time despite getting enough sleep
  • Feeling helpless or worthless
  • Feeling pessimistic
  • Having insomnia frequently or sleeping more than necessary
  • Frequent irritability and having trouble calming down
  • Loss of interest in things that you previously enjoyed doing
  • Increased appetite or loss of appetite
  • Frequently feeling ill, such as having headaches, digestive problems or other unexplained aches and pains
  • Constant feelings of sadness or anxiousness
  • Frequent suicidal thoughts or attempts at suicide

How to combat depression

  1. Learn to speak positive words over yourself and over your life:  The Bible tells us that the power of life and death lies in our tongue, the more you start to speak positively about yourself the more positive you will start to feel about yourself.

 

2. Learn speak those things as though they are true….despite how you feel at the moment: So many times we allow our current situations or circumstances to dictate how we value ourselves, you have learn to speak positive even if you don’t feel like it or even if it feels like the world is crashing down around you and remember your disability has nothing to do with your value because situations change by your value will not.

3. Learn to surround yourself with like-minded people.  Surround yourself with positive people who can also be encouraging and see you and not your disability, they are comforting when they need to be when you need them to be but will not join your pity party.

 4. Read your Bible  See what God said about you, what has he promised you because at the end of the day that’s all at matters is what God said about you, you are beautifully and wonderfully made in His image this by the way has nothing to do with physical appearance, The plans he has for you is to prosper you not harm you (Jeremiah 29:11) Be confident in that He that has begun a good work in you shall see it to completion (Phili 1:6)

 

These are just a few tips on how to learn to defeat depression, this is an area you find yourself struggling I would love the opportunity to connect with you to see if maybe I could be of some assistance to you its 2019 we can’t keep doing the same thing and expecting different results it's time that you get serious about where God is trying to take you but you can’t go if you inner man is not together. 

The same way you take care of your body you have to do the same for the thing for your inner man.

If you would like to discuss this topic more in-depth with me feel free to send me an email at coachlatreawyche@gmail.com

Depression is not something you hear a lot about within the disability community, but the more I thought about it the more I began to see the connection.  Being disabled can cause one to have to face many ups and downs and obstacles, hurdles, uphill battles, and valley experiences throughout our lives, the upside to all of these experiences, they have shaped and continues to shape who God has created us to be. For example, a person who has a disability typically deals with low self-esteem, lack of direction, feelings of not belonging,  These same feelings can also be connected with depression. Before I continue any further I think it's important to understand what Depression is and also there is a difference between being depressed and suffering from depression. Being depressed is usually when something does not go as planned and you become a down about it, it does not usually last long, whereas depression is defined as a mental disorder characterized by depressed, low, or “blue” mood that lasts more than a few days. People who suffer from depression often lose interest in activities they formerly found pleasant, feel hopeless and sad, and suffer from low self-esteem.  Depression and disability oftentimes go hand and hand, depending upon the support system that an individual may have. But then the question becomes why does disability lead to depression:

Why does disability lead to depression?? 

 I don’t think depression is directly related to the disability itself but related to the emotions and fears connected to the disability. These are common emotions that a person with a disability may experience and because of that experience, there may be some depression. 

No life direction or purpose – Many individuals who happened to have a disability, they often feel as though because they are disabled they have no purpose which causes them to feel lost and out of place.  Then there are the individuals who become disabled later in life, they have worked hard to achieve a certain career goal. Acquiring a disability that no longer allows you to work at that job has a significant impact on your direction in life and may also impact your sense of purpose. For example, an airline pilot whose vision becomes seriously impaired is no longer able to fly. Such a devastating loss can easily open the door for depression, particularly if that was the only career he or she had ever had  Another example is someone who suffers a stroke, as we know people who have strokes sometimes loses the use of the right side of their body as well as the ability to drive and they speech sometimes become altered. This drastic life change can cause depression sneak in because this person has gone from having a pretty normal full of independence to having a life of restrictions and limitations.  

The painful loss of a sense of purpose affects many disabled individuals who were formerly the primary breadwinner in the home. When you’re no longer able to provide for your family, it’s not unusual to develop the lingering helplessness or frustration that leads to depression. 

Feelings of worthlessness, another common symptom of depression, can begin to take a firm grip. This is seen commonly in a lot of disabled vets.

A decrease in self-esteem – Being disabled affects how you perceive and feel about yourself, as well as your place in society. A study of individuals with traumatic brain injury revealed they had lower levels of self-esteem and higher levels of depression than healthy individuals. Some disabled individuals lack confidence in their ability to control their body and manage their life adequately. The loss of autonomy can take a severe toll on self-esteem.

Sadness, anger or frustration – A disability can sometimes prevent you from having your dream job or your dream career, but it isn’t always serious enough to keep you out of the workforce entirely. Feeling forced to take a job that isn’t as challenging, fulfilling, prestigious or well-paying can elicit negative feelings such as sadness, anger, frustration or resentment. 

The struggle of living with a disability – Quality of life often decreases after a significant injury or illness, especially when it limits the ability to perform normal daily activities. A serious brain injury, for instance, requires a person to relearn any number of tasks, from how to speak to how to button a shirt. In some cases, he or she simply isn’t able to relearn important functions. Likewise, a disability such as vision loss completely changes how someone lives. A newly blind person must learn how to navigate a dark world, losing at least some independence in the process.

Feeling bored – Some disabilities leave a person housebound, with few opportunities to interact with others. You may find yourself at home alone all day while your spouse is at work or confined to an assisted living center where community activities don’t match your interests. Boredom fosters negative emotions, including loneliness and frustration, which can trigger symptoms of depression.

Disability definitely raises depression risk; however, depression can also make the disability worse. For example, depression can make it more difficult for you to take proper care of your health. You are more likely to miss important appointments, such as a doctor visit or physical therapy. You may neglect to take your medications as directed. The result is a cycle in which the injury or illness triggers depression, which, in turn, makes the disabling condition worse.     

Signs of Depression

The following are signs of clinical depression:

  • Difficulty remembering things, concentrating or making simple decisions
  • Feeling tired all of the time despite getting enough sleep
  • Feeling helpless or worthless
  • Feeling pessimistic
  • Having insomnia frequently or sleeping more than necessary
  • Frequent irritability and having trouble calming down
  • Loss of interest in things that you previously enjoyed doing
  • Increased appetite or loss of appetite
  • Frequently feeling ill, such as having headaches, digestive problems or other unexplained aches and pains
  • Constant feelings of sadness or anxiousness
  • Frequent suicidal thoughts or attempts at suicide

How to combat depression

  1. Learn to speak positive words over yourself and over your life:  The Bible tells us that the power of life and death lies in our tongue, the more you start to speak positively about yourself the more positive you will start to feel about yourself.

 

2. Learn speak those things as though they are true….despite how you feel at the moment: So many times we allow our current situations or circumstances to dictate how we value ourselves, you have learn to speak positive even if you don’t feel like it or even if it feels like the world is crashing down around you and remember your disability has nothing to do with your value because situations change by your value will not.

3. Learn to surround yourself with like-minded people.  Surround yourself with positive people who can also be encouraging and see you and not your disability, they are comforting when they need to be when you need them to be but will not join your pity party.

 4. Read your Bible  See what God said about you, what has he promised you because at the end of the day that’s all at matters is what God said about you, you are beautifully and wonderfully made in His image this by the way has nothing to do with physical appearance, The plans he has for you is to prosper you not harm you (Jeremiah 29:11) Be confident in that He that has begun a good work in you shall see it to completion (Phili 1:6)

 

These are just a few tips on how to learn to defeat depression, this is an area you find yourself struggling I would love the opportunity to connect with you to see if maybe I could be of some assistance to you its 2019 we can’t keep doing the same thing and expecting different results it's time that you get serious about where God is trying to take you but you can’t go if you inner man is not together. 

The same way you take care of your body you have to do the same for the thing for your inner man.

If you would like to discuss this topic more in-depth with me feel free to send me an email at coachlatreawyche@gmail.com

Vacationing with Jaylen

Going on vacation was very hard for us, one moment we are ready to go, and the next we are changing our minds. We changed our minds because we weren't ready to deal with the staring that came with my son Jaylen and his dad whose and amputee.

Often I talk with other families who have the same fears about going in public with their loved ones who are different. The commonality is, we would rather stay home and avoid the drama of being looked at funny by those who are ignorant.

Now that I've jumped off the ledge and decided that I would no longer live in fear, my family and I enjoy family vacations. I know use my experience to show other families that it's ok to take your loved ones out in public without fear.

It was about three years ago when we started going places. I’ll never forget our first vacation. We went to the Great Wolf Lodge in North Carolina. This place isn’t very accessible but there is plenty to do. We decided to go here because our kids love water especially my son and it’s an indoor waterpark. I hate being outside! (lolol)

Unfortunately, we still got the stares, however,  when we were in the waterpark the attention wasn’t on us which allowed us to enjoy ourselves. The experience was amazing, and we have gone there every year since our first visit.

Our second vacation was at the beach. The experience was not as good. We quickly found out how the beaches aren't the best for wheelchairs unless you have a chair with wheels that can tread sand. To get Jaylen and his chair to the beach near the water, we had to carry him and that heavy ass wheelchair to the beach. By the time we got there, we were bombed. You know how the sand can take a toll on you when you’re walking through it. Well, imagine walking through it carrying a sixty-pound boy in his wheelchair.

hen we got by the water people were staring at us hell we just carried a wheelchair with our son in it so yeah getting looks was inevitable (lolol). We just focused on enjoying ourselves and not on the people wasting their beach time looking at us.

Now, in current times (lolol) some beaches now have beach wheelchairs that you can rent when you go to the beach and there are a lot more accessible beaches.  So, You can also purchase wheels that will handle sand so that you don't have to change chairs.

My overall advice would be, when looking for places to visits don’t think about what others may think, don’t think about how people may look and you may even run into some problems HOWEVER don't let that dictate the fun and memories you will create with your loved one with special needs.

As Told By Tylia: How I Discovered That Impossible Doesn’t Exist

From the time I was born I have faced many challenges and obstacles due to my cerebral palsy. Today I want to talk about the day that I learn that the word impossible does not exist.

We can talk about many experiences I had that taught me that the word impossible doesn’t exist.

At the age of 7 while watching Spongebob I laughed for the first time.Cerebral Palsy Author Tylia Flores
At the age of 12, I had the opportunity to copilot an airplane and fly over the Everglades.Cerebral Palsy Author Tylia Flores Copilot Flying Over Evergaldes

At the age of 13, I started playing softball for a special needs softball league where I got to play my favorite sport and be a part of something beautiful which was life-changing.Cerebral Palsy Author Tylia Flores Softball Player

At the age of 14, I had a youtube video that went somewhat viralCerebral Palsy Author Tylia Flores Youtube Viral Video

At the age of 15, I hit a rough patch in my life where I was trying to discover who I was as a person with a disability. This is when I discovered I had a passion for writing.Cerebral Palsy Author Tylia Flores Writer

At the age of 16, I published James Ticking Time Bomb.Cerebral Palsy Author Tylia Flores Author James Ticking Time BombAt the age of 17, became a part of the Facebook community started to share my story on disability sites.Cerebral Palsy Author Tylia Flores Disability Support Groups

At the age of 18, I became a contributor for several sites including Project Wednesday.Cerebral Palsy Author Tylia Flores Project Wednesday

At the age of 19, I got my first pair cowgirl boots and my first cowgirl hat. This is something I never thought I would be able to do because of my cerebral palsy in the way my feet are when it comes to boots.Cerebral Palsy Author Tylia Flores Cowgirl Boots and Hat

At the age of 20, I finally accepted my disability and I truly began to live my life to the best that I could.Cerebral Palsy Author Tylia Flores

At the age of 21, I had my first real alcoholic drink and realize I hated it and I’ll never drink again.Cerebral Palsy Author Tylia Flores 21st Birthday

At the age of 22, I officially was able to feel what adulting is and how it never stopsCerebral Palsy Author Tylia Flores Adulting

At the age of 23, I started my podcast As Told by Tylia and many of my articles have touched many people. I’ve also started to model.Cerebral Palsy Author Tylia Flores Podcast As Told by Tylia Model

When did I learn that the impossible doesn’t exist? From the day I was born. Throughout my life, my dad and mom have always taught me that the word impossible does not exist. To me, it really never existed and I’ve always looked at what the word really means: ”I’m Possible”

Changing the word impossible to possible.

Throughout these life experiences that I’ve had as a woman with a disability, I learned as I’ve guided myself through life with the support of my friends and family that nothing is impossible. Don’t let your situation stop you because you are in control of your life. No else could control your life and what you do with your life. Nothing is impossible unless you make it impossible. That is the key to living an inspirational and happy life each day. Try setting a goal for yourself each year when you turn another year older. Set the main goal for yourself and you will soon learn the true meaning of the word impossible means I’m impossible.

My G-Tube Kid

I was nineteen when I had my first child Jaylen. He was born with some medical complications. The hospital where I had him transported him to another hospital that specialized in neonatal care the next morning.

Jaylen was in the NICU for 1 month while they ran several feeding tests. 2 of the test performed gave an indication that a G-tube along with the fundoplication was necessary. These test also indicated that Jaylen was experiencing REFLUX aka GERD and Aspiration into the airway.

(A Nissen fundoplication is basically a procedure where they wrap the stomach around the esophagus to stop you from aspirating)

Prior to the surgery, an NG tube was placed as a temporary solution so that nutrition wouldn't be lost. Once the GTube was in, I was taught how to care for it. I will not lie, I was scared to death of hurting my son.  I had to stay overnight at the hospital to be monitored while feeding him. They had to make sure I knew what I was doing before discharging him.

After getting Jaylen home I had to show my family how to feed him. For the most part, I was the only one to feed him because just like me they were afraid of hurting him.

Fast forward,  Jaylen is on his way to being thirteen years old and he is still tube fed. Each year Jaylen has to repeat a swallow study to see if there are any changes to his swallow ability.

Right now, he still can’t get thin liquids by mouth, but he can eat some foods by mouth. I am very proud of his progress! Most people think because they are g-tube they won’t be as healthy as other kids. Well, Jaylen is now eighty-two pounds and has always been chunky. The best thing they could’ve done for him was to give him that tube. And I am a happy g-tube MOM!

Wear your Cerebral Palsy Like a badge of Courage!

I recall my adopted father, Ronald Fino telling me in one of our deep conversations that took place in our living room, one night while a movie was playing in the background. My dad is the love of life, pushing me to the max, trying to be a better person than I once had been in 2016. I had a disagreement with my mother, that leads me homeless with nowhere to go but to a women’s shelter.

Other of my family members did not respond, and I reached out to him as my last hope before I became a ward of the state. When Ronald heard of my dilemma, he offered me a place in his home in Williamsburg, Virginia, with his wife, Alla, and their son, Daniil. I immediately flew out to them.

This family's love, interest, and understanding gave me a whole new outlook on life, and the encouragement to continue writing and to become involved in the Cerebral Palsy community. I am, in essence, their adopted daughter. Ronald's career was in the Intelligence community, and law enforcement and his family have a substantial commitment to fairness and justice for all. In Ronald, whom I consider my Dad, and Alla, whom I think my Mom, I discovered how fulfilling life with Cerebral Palsy could be with the right family, activities, and unconditional love. Had there been the proper advocacy, protective laws, and services from the beginning, I would not have suffered abuse and neglect in my youth.
I can tell you anything, and everything about the 1,000 tail’s with so many details due to my long-term memory. People always said that “I have a memory of an elephant.” I can recall an event and dates playing it in my head like it just happens the other week ago. Sometimes it a blessing and sometimes it's cured. I feel like there are tons of books on bookshelves, internet blog’s, and YouTube videos, stories that one read in a Facebook group, Hollywood movies on the subject on Cerebral Palsy.
I was born with CP, so it did not affect me like a war hero losing his legs or his eyesight, though in my formative years spaned in hatred and dysfunction in our home… I was isolated in my youth by homeschooling and the bitterness of a mother that I tried to love but as always rejected/ Was it my handicap? Another reason that I am not aware of. Putting it simply, I was a rejected child. Today, I hold no bitterness or animosity against her, but it still hurts. Fortunately, with my limited capability, I earned a high school diploma with honors.

Everyone pictures people with CP or with another disabled adult as being innocent and vulnerable. They treat us, disabled adults like children. I think my story could help open people’s eyes. Having a disability does not make someone less of an adult, innocent, or unaware. I have the sexual wants and desires of a woman desiring a companion. It’s hard, hurtful and has become a thick cloud of lust, of wanting but not having.

My biological mother turned from a loving mother to someone who hated me while I grew up. This feeling locked me up through my teen years. She manipulated my thinking, such as making me unfriend Jessica, my beloved life-long best friend, and family that she had brainwashed me to hate and such. I’ve survived three murder attempts by her hand. She made me feel like an animal/monster that needed to be locked up, and she tried to get me locked me up in a mental asylum or a group home for disabled people to forget about me — acting like I was never her daughter. Sadly, to say, I don’t believe our paths will cross again. I have my own life, and she has her own life that’s isn’t web together. There is so much worse than my mom had done to me after my dad passed on that I won’t write here. I recall that night when she admitted: “I have hated you since the day I found out that you have CP.” Since that night, I lost something dear to my heart. My undying-daughterly love for her, knowing that she’ll never come to love me as me.

My biological father had this golden heart, a warn huge great smile and such a pleasant personality. I hold no antagonism against my father. Now that I’m older, I see that my dad was under her thumb and gas lit when it comes right down to it by my mom. He tried hard to please my mom with shopping money, gifts, yard work, doing what she said or wanted, even if he had to turn away from his mom, brother, and his three sisters for good. At times I never understood, but now as I type, he was like myself, brainwashed by Mom. Everyone tells me that I am just like him, carrying on his happy-go-lucky attitude.

My little sister, Hanna, who was one year and a few months younger than myself, was the "golden child” in my parents’ eyes. Hanna was on the golf team and the town's leading acting group, she was always making headlines in the town's newspaper as a teen and went to high school, unlike me. She was a star, bring home golf state titles with her golf team. She had always got the starring roles in plays, yet when Hanna was home, she used me as her punching bag, sometimes I was at fault for the fight— being the mess-up daughter of my parents — having fits of anger out in public when someone treats me like a baby.

Hanna dropped out of high school because she never did her schoolwork and went and got a GED. My parents acted like that having a GED was even better than a high school diploma. I was so lonely, I had no friends at that age, and I always had dreamt about going to high school since I was little. I wanted to experience high school life and all its milestones.

All my life to this very day, I have a unique, rare bond with my grandma, who is my mom’s mother. I called her my Gragwa. She was more like a mother to me, my dear best friend, since my mother dropped me off at her house each day. Gragwa raised me to be the woman that I am today; she taught me everything. She was always there for me, helping and encouraging me never to give up and keep carrying on. Memories of her taking me for ice cream with the top down on her convertible as a little girl to our wonderful getaway, Cesare’s Palace. Gragwa always said this, “Amanda, you were meant to live an extra extraordinary life.” to me since I could remember. My mom hated the fact that I was closer to Gragwa than her. She tried to put us against each other with mind games. It never worked, I’ve always picked grandma over her.
Then the Nightmare of Scarlett had happened, My parent’s mom’s dear friend Nancy. She had a sister named Scarlett that was in her 70s. Scarlett has a grown and married daughter with a significant handicap; born with no arms or legs, making her wheelchair bound. My mom and Nancy thought that Scarlett and I would become good friends. My mom let Scarlett take me out to the movies, lunches, and such. I only had a “sleepover” once at her house. Turns out that night was the worst night of my life because she did some unspeakable things to me just after I turned 18. Did I tell my parents what she did to me? No, because they need Nancy at work, someone they must trust working for them. Yes, I hid it.

Years later, I went to see Scott, a counselor, who told me that Scarlett raped me when I told him about it in our first of many sessions. (I’ve changed his name to protect his privacy) Years later, Scott and I fell in love and started a love affair that was doomed from the start, because Scott was engaged, as well as being 32 years older than me. We had done sexual things, yet I never hold Scott until I fell him in my body.

We both wanted to make love to each other and had plans to. However, Scott got cold feet at the last minute and got married. I was so madly and deeply in love with him that I tried to take my own life. I am coping with the fact that Scott and I never had sex, and it’s painful. Having people yell at me that he raped me when they were not there in my shoes. “Did he?” I still have ambiguous about it.

My very first kiss was from a man that was well over 65, and it makes me disgusted at the very thought of it. Larry was my next-door neighbor back home. I was hanging out with Ray, fixing a computer when he asked me to make love with him, saying that he was the only man that would want to have sex with me. He eggs me on into kissing him. From then on, I was hell-bent on having sex. I even got a sex surrogate but backed out because I still not over Scott. I ended up having sex with a guy, and it was a very quickly one-night stand.

I've discovered my talent for writing at a young age. As a result, I've published six books by myself. Yet this year 2019, this past April they have picked up my first book, TIMELESS OMERTA that used to be called OMERTA AFFAIR. I’m finishing up writing my newest book telling my inner depth of emotion being a woman that has CP with a unique outlook on life. Cerebral Palsy Gal has been a work in progress; I haven't found the exact words until now. It shall be coming out sooner than later.

I'm beyond grateful and thrilled to say that I’m a member of the Virginia Board for People with Disabilities Partners in Policymaking. I'm hoping to spread Cerebral Palsy awareness and to provide a beacon of light for all disabled people, starting up this fall 2019. I’ve started an Official Newsletter of the author Amanda Fino; CPGal Reader Nest, that comes out on the 4th of each month, with book news, a Badge of Courage small article saluting Cerebral Palsy and other disability warriors.

I’m finishing up writing my newest book telling her inner depth of emotion being a woman that has CP with a unique outlook on life. Cerebral Palsy Gal has been a work in progress; I haven't found the exact words until now. It shall be coming out this year, with Deepest Elements a Novelette, that people are saying "It's worth your time."
My family encourages me to go to conventions and dinners with other professionals and well-connected people. I hope to spread Cerebral Palsy awareness and to provide a beacon of light for all disabled people. I'm wholly dedicated to making life better through proper advocacy, living environments, and medical research. Right now, I feel like there needs to be a book on adult matters of a full flesh woman that has Cerebral Palsy — expressing my deep inner emotions within myself. Having a unique person outlook on life, I am admitting that I made a lot of horrible mistakes on my behalf, and I own up to ALL of them. In hopes for other young women that has Cerebral Palsy not to make the same mistake as I did.

AS Told by Tylia: Going to the movies with Cerebral Palsy​

I’ve always enjoyed going to the movies especially now that all the latest Disney movies are coming to the theatres and to be honest I’m looking forward to Toy Story 4.

Although I’m about to be 24 years old in a few weeks I still watch Disney movies from time to time which brings me to this article topic going to the movies with Cerebral palsy.

Now I don’t do good with loud sounds meaning I jumped every single time I hear any loud music or audio which is part of my Cerebral Palsy which makes it hard for me to go the movies .

So how do I cope with it and the issue the truth is I don’t cope with it at all or make a big deal of it I just laugh it off and say to my self it’s apart of me and I’m going to embrace it all in a positive way vs the negative way because

I choose to be who I’m as a person that what I want people to know about having traits that we don’t about ourselves embrace who you are or who your children are with ABILITIES NOT disability because we don’t have disabilities We have many abilities along with flaws in our lives but it doesn’t mean it should stop us form doing anything