Timeless Ending

On July 20, 2013, it was an extraordinary day because I published my debut book, Omerta Affair. A romance set in the violent underworld of the Las Vegas Mafia. Remembering that day, I was jumping with overjoy, tears of joy. It was a super fabulous, wonderful feeling, "I really did, I'm a published indie author." Fast forward six years later, it's time for me celebrating my book once more as it releases under a new title. Omerta: Timeless Endings from Lavender Press An imprint of Blue Fortune Enterprises, LLC on August 27, 2019

It's all began on my 22 birthday. I went to the newly open Mob Museum in Las Vegas Nevada. To my shock, Frank Cuttolla was there signing his book. I met him and told him that I want to be a Mafia-Romance, and he said to me that if I need help, just let him know. I said okay thinking he has better things to do than helping me a young CP girl at the time. I found him on Facebook weeks later, and we began to talk, he always inviting me to this and that. I base my first book "Omerta Affair" off on Tony Spilotro's reign as The Las Vegas Mafia boss, in the 1970s. He had it all, running the Crime underworld. He could have any woman he wanted in Las Vegas. Instead, he became romantically Geri Rosenthal. At first, it was a Casino's FanFic to the 1995 move, that I was witting and putting online for free. My family and friend told me it was way too good to be a FanFic. After I finished my book, Frank hooked me up with some people and that how my book came to be. Now he's Uncle Frank to me.

Since then, I have continued to gravitate toward writing dark, mature romances, some suitable only for adults. It is frustrating to me that some authors don't take me seriously because of that I have Cerebral Palsy. I write dark romance, and my Cerebral Palsy had nothing with it. Even if I didn't have Cerebral Palsy, I would still write Dark Romance books.  On November 17, 2018, after years of writer's block and personal problems, I finally came out with the Deepest Element, which is a short story under my formal pen name Alexandra Forry. Now I'm rewriting Deepest Elements to be a full-flash novel tiled Blue Bell my goal for it to come out late 2020.

Blue Bell set at a very elite boarding school that has darkened within its wall. Arriving in Radcliffe Heights, Rhode Island, freshman Peony "Poppy" Warwick admired the picturesque small town. But deep in the shadows of the woods near Blue Bell Boarding School, and along its hallowed halls, lurked illicit sex, murder, and harrowing danger. Seduced by Damon Dashwood, the handsome, blue-eyed, white blonde 41-year-old Headmaster, Poppy enters a world of love, ecstasy, heartbreak, betrayal, and death.

How Did I get my idea for Blue Bell? In 2005 I was living in Pahrump, Nevada, that's world-famous for its whorehouse of ill representatives. When breaking news hit our town's newspaper, and then it went on to become a remarkable news story on cbsnews.com.

The story went like this. This guy went and told detectives he found the videotape of a young of 4 or 5 years of age girl who had sexually assaulted in this homemade videotape. Investigators don't think this guy made the tape.

Being homeschooled with nothing to do, I followed this story until I read this five years later; "We found the victim. She's safe," Nye County sheriff's Detective told The Associated Press. I was fifteen at the time. I had made up this story idea.

About a girl in a boarding school that is determined to expose her school's evil headmaster. After she had discovered a prostitution ring, sex trafficking, and murder within the school's walls and on its grounds, even though human trafficking is a foul, very dark subject, the morale of this book is "fight for what you believe in, for what's right" and "never give up." I never wrote it down until December of 2017.

"It is an interesting story that is generally well told. The basic premise is sound, and it has the potential to be a well-received psychological thriller. The two main (Poppy and Dashwood) are well constructed and carry the story well. The plot and storyline are clear. The reader can see from the mission that Poppy is on; Exposing the criminality of her headmaster Dashwood and the school in the sex scandal that had been going on for years." A review of DEEPEST ELEMENTS.

I never did plan of having my two main characters, Poppy and Dashwood, falling in love with each other. I like to point out that, It a time of great confusion for girls as they start to get sexual desires. There is an element of excitement and danger with an older man with power. Poppy knew that Dashwood is a criminal, and their relationship is illegal. LOVE is stronger than HATE, that why I shall make it she want him in jail party because oddly she would have him all to herself. It's love everlasting.


Caring for someone with special needs isn't easy, it's filled with constant referrals to specialist for everything down to the little pinky toe. We practically live in the doctors' office.

We bounce from pillar to post with the complicated task of balancing a full-time job in conjunction with all of the doctors' appointments. (this makes for a great setup for depression and anxiety).

We spend our time planning to make sure we don't forget anything on these excursions. We time medication and feedings to make life easier while out and about. Only to be hit with more of the "what your child isn't able to do" comments filled with "these therapists, orthotics, etc will make life better)

No wonder it's easy to forget about yourself. You have no time and no room for yourself in the midst of your loved one's appointments and the demands of your job.

The daily demands become much for difficult as the person you are caring for ages. The lifting gets complicated along with meeting the basic daily living needs. Let me add NO HELP from anyone to this equation.

Maintaining a job is nearly impossible! If jobs were more empathetic to those in our shoes, maybe the rate of public assistance will decrease. We fight daily to only have those we need turn their backs on us due to situations beyond our control. We need our jobs we need the benefits the jobs have to offer, the issue is, being able to work and care for our loved ones that require more than typical.

Every way you turn, you are faced with the challenges of assistance when it comes to caring for your loved one with special needs. We group help with monetary compensations which we understand is sometimes necessary, however, the rate of depression, anxiety is up because of the lack of community assistance. Lack of friends and family help, lack of support from jobs and school officials. Each direction leads to drama no matter what you do to survive.

Hope is lost because of the lack of assistance, love, support, generosity, and care. It's hard to restore what you don't see often. We are constantly faced with obstacles and pain to navigate while attempting to find the best parts of life.

I remember saying to myself, I know there is something better for me.  I am open and willing because where I am isn't ok. I knew I needed something different and by any cost, I was willing to get that. I fought long and hard, digging up things that I never resolved within my childhood, life, just my entire being. I was willing to risk everything I had (which wasn't much of anything) just to get myself out of hell.

The path to emerging into the being I was meant to be, has not been an easy one. It's been filled with tons of emotions I didn't even know I had. It brought me to a reality that I was scared of, only because I thought I what I had was of value when in all actuality it was garbage. There wasn't anything there that warrants for the life I see for myself.

I removed EVERYTHING and started sitting still more. Sitting in silence more and gifting myself tranquility and forgiveness for shit I couldn't change no matter how hard I tried. I started appreciating everything that makes up who I am as a person and mother. I started paying more attention to those I have in my space and those I allow to entertain my time. I started to really LIVE by what my standards were. I started to understand my worth and value myself and all I have to offer this world.

I came from a family that ridiculed me for the traits I was given by the universe.  It really made me feel inadequate and not apart of my family. I felt different in a bad way. I never felt good enough. So to bounce back from a place of defeat was a very hard and painful task.

I am truly grateful for crawling through the storm. I came out walking and much more confident. I set boundaries, I meditate, I think, I mind my business, I don't entertain anything that doesn't align with my standards.

Believe it or not, this was the beginning of my road to getting fit. Without doing this piece the fit piece wouldn't be in existence. This is what pushed me to start taking my health more seriously.